There have been many times in my life where a significant change or transition has occurred. Since I can remember, I have been constantly reminded that the only consistent thing in life is change. Gaining friends, losing friends, moving away from home, moving back home, seeking out new jobs, leaving old jobs, losing weight, and gaining weight, etc. Ehhhh, you get the jist. In most of these instances, I have felt completely ready for the change at hand. College graduation and planning the rest of my life, however, has been another story.
For four years I have felt the overwhelming want to “just be done”, but now that the day has come and gone, I surprisingly find myself missing those half-assed lectures in the scummy smelling classrooms at Marymount. Maybe it’s the fact that I expected myself to have my future planned out a little better than I do. Maybe I expected to feel just a little more prepared that I currently do. Maybe its because my life has taken a complete 360 in the past year and has undergone one too many changes. Or maybe it’s because, for once in my life, I actually have no idea where I am meant to be next.
For the first time in my life I am being 100% honest with myself when I say that maybe I don’t want to be the typical 9-5, give-everything-but-my-kidney-to-my-job kinda working girl. I want to be able to express my creativity. I want to truly live life. I want to work to live and not live to work. I want to truly LOVE what I do. Then came the heavy realization that in order to find a career that I am passionate about, I literally have to be willing to do ANYTHING to attain it. Thoughts start to race through my mind. Am I really the type of girl that “has” what it takes to create herself out of nothing? Do I truly have the drive? Am I willing to move away from the only true support system I have ever known? Most of these questions are things college freshmen face as they head out into the “real” world that us adults consider “pre-reality”. I’ve been there, done that and trust me when I say this is in, no way anything like that feeling. This feeling is the overwhelming worry that one wrong step, one too hastily accepted job, or one mistake could lead to a lifetime of being lead down the completely wrong path.
Thankfully, my dad gave me a piece of advice that has resounded now more than ever. “Life goes on”.
To me, meaning, I have made mistakes. I will continue to make mistakes. Sometimes, those mistakes have led me to the “wrong” place and to realizations that eventually led me to the “right” place. It is so cliché to say this, but life is a journey and I find solace in that. Knowing that these feelings of being led down a “wrong path in life” is an irrational one. There is no such thing as a “wrong” path. Sure, I’ve made my share of mistakes, but the lessons I’ve learned in return have been much, much greater.
To really live life, you have to be willing to throw yourself into it with all you’ve got. There are some people in my life, as in anyone’s, that would advise against that. They would opt that you “play it safe” and stay within your “comfort zone”. But what they are really saying and wanting is for you to stay within their comfort zone. If you never explore the bounds to your own comfort zone, you have no idea where the limits lie. So I challenge you, as I challenge myself to really live life. Although you may be a broke recent college grad, I challenge you to explore life and realize the true richness of every moment. Now more than ever, I have realized it is impossible to recreate “moments” in life, so take it in—Live it, Breathe it, Experience it and remember it forever.